Note to self...

"Do not take anything to clean the colon before going on an 8 hour drive." I think I saw every public restroom between Kansas and Missouri. The Intestinal Formula I was taking really works, possibly too good.

We had a great time on our trip, hubby had to fix a cattle chute out by Branson, Mo and we decided to make a trip out of it. We took the girls to see Dixie Stampede and spent some time in the hotel swimming, well the girls and daddy went swimming, I stayed in the room and read a book. This trip really opened my eyes about everything I was missing. The entire time I kept talking to myself, "Man, your legs are huge." "I hope there's room for my big butt at the show." "These jeans show every roll in my legs." I didn't have as much fun, because I was too busy insulting myself and putting myself down.

I bought a book on the suggestion of a friend, and saw other people's blogs who recommended it, and started reading it on the trip. It's really opened my eyes about how I treat myself, and it's no wonder I have a weight problem, or should I say an eating problem. The book is called "Women, Food, and God." It talks about eating when you're hungry, which I don't think I know what that feels like. It also teaches you about telling that little voice in your head to Shut up. It's that voice that tells me, "I'm fat." "I don't amount to anything." "You might as well eat, you're never going to lose this weight." It's that voice that has controlled me for years. It's the voice that has told me time and time again that I'm not worth it, and that I don't deserve to be happy. I've really learned a lot from this book and I found out that Oprah did a series on it and she has notes about each chapter on her website. I plan on going through the book again following along with the notes. Hopefully, I can finally love myself instead of insulting myself all of the time.